Weird Ridiculousness

Datong is the most bizarre city I’ve ever been to. In hindsight, making a provincial coal-mining centre in northern Shanxi our first Chinese stop out of Beijing was a little rogue! It was the only place in all of China where we needed cash; we got static shocks constantly for 3 days; the apartment we’d booked turned out to be full of cuddly toys in skirts and sex toys, all of which were part of a ‘smart system’ for the room, which we pretended didn’t exist; the clothes shops had names such as Mingr and C.Comelicious; there were cats everywhere, often locked inside weirdly lit shops; and they were still reconstructing the old city and its 7km long walls at a cost of £5 billion! For context, this is in a city with the population of Manchester, Leeds, Liverpool, Sheffield, and Birmingham (England’s second-to-sixth biggest cities) combined but still not in the largest 50 cities in China.

China in general was a a culture shock, although probably not as much today as a decade ago. One aspect we enjoyed looking out for were the translations of the signs, such as our favourite seen in the toilets at the Great Wall: “Come with rushing, go with flushing”. Twice, in Shanghai and Chengdu, we came across marriage markets where thousands of parents were trying to find partners for their offspring in city parks. Chongqing and Datong in particular were so different to anything we’d experienced elsewhere in the world. Day to day, the flavour combinations were the most noticeable aspect. Anyone for cheese or pomelo coffee, mouth-numbing Sichuan peppers, jasmine or cucumber crisps, chicken feet, or durian biscuits. Nothing was ever quite what you expected!

A couple of animal encounters in Thailand also make the list. Whilst exploring temples in Ayutthaya, we were spooked by the sight of three 2.5 metre long reptiles on the edge of the water right beside us. Thankfully, these turned out to be Asian water monitors (the second largest reptile species, after the Komodo dragon) and not crocodiles! Another is when, after seeing sunrise at Red Lotus Lake and getting back in to Udon Thani, I was sleepily looking for coffee and barely noticed an elephant that walked past us a few metres away!

Another unusual thing were the pointless jobs that lots of people seemed to have in Azerbaijan. Staying in the Caucasus, the harrowing earthquake ruins of Gyumri in Armenia stand out to me. The city, then Leninakan, was devastated and prompted the first outside assistance accepted by the Soviet Union – a historically significant step taken under Gorbachev. Today, the ruins of heavy industry and the technical college are, according to locals we met there, inhabited by ‘outcasts’ of society and we were told it was wise to leave the area. Incredibly, two street dogs walked the hour or so back into the city with us, very deliberately guarding us from trouble along the way.

Another dragon-themed item to get a mention is the Dragon bridge in Danang. Traffic was stopped for the fire-breathing dragon to superheat the area with giant flames and then a huge water jet to drench everyone and cool us back down! Chiang Mai has many temples, including one with hundreds of etchings of UFOs.

Honourable mentions: UFO temple in Chiang Mai, Dragon bridge in Danang

Most want to go back to (place)

Six days in Beijing were nowhere near enough. The city is sprawling, with sights both historical and modern worthy of a whole day on their own seemingly at every turn. If (and when) we go back to China, stopping there for at least as long again is on the cards.

Luang Prabang was calmness epitomised. Walking from temple to temple, watching sunsets over the Mekong, and eating from the night market, it felt like the most relaxing place on Earth. Hoi An was similarly chilled, with its walkable centre, incredible array of food options, and gorgeous architecture.

Most want to go back to (country)

We both have the same top three here, although in slightly different orders. Kaja’s number one is China. Yes, we’d gotten a little jaded of it by the end but we’d still love to explore the vast areas we didn’t have chance to go near on this trip. Three months was nowhere near enough. This is a country so vast in terms of geography, culture, food, history, and one that is changing so quickly, that I doubt three decades would be. I think the Chinese parts of the silk road west of Xi’an in Shaanxi, Gansu, and Xinjiang would be a must see for us next time, along with visiting northern Harbin during the ice sculpture festival, the ancient city of Suzhou, and the mountains in western Sichuan.

Number one for me is Turkey, because we only visited Istanbul on this trip. I’ve driven across the country west to east before, but there are so many areas of Anatolia with incredible history and no doubt hospitality that draw me to revisit them slowly.

Vietnam also made our lists. Again, one month wasn’t enough. Every little town, valley, or beach looked worthy of exploring and spending a few days in. We could go back and easily not revisit a single place and have a similarly magical time. Hopefully one day!